I’ve discovered the fountain of youth. I’ve not taken ten years off my looks, nor twenty, but thirty years! Yes, that’s right, thirty years off my looks. How, you say? Simple. Get braces. My nine-year old is now outfitted with braces. Me as well. My teeth have moved since I had my braces removed as a teen. I wore my retainers up to the day my brother beat them to death with a rolled up newspaper. He thought they were pink spiders. He wasn’t wearing his glasses.
So anyhoo, I look twelve. I mean really. I think I’ll continue wearing them long after I need them. There’s a lot I could buy in the area of cosmetic surgery for the same price as braces, but none would have made me look as young as I do now. My husband says for the same price I could have gotten a boob job. He said then no one will look at my teeth. See what I have to live with.
The only drawback (besides not eating) is I can’t bite my fingernails. What will I do now for my nervous habit? I’ve bit them my whole life. I love biting them. I don’t smoke, or drink, or even play with my hair. I bite. The inability to sooth my nerves have caused great stress. Does anyone have any suggestions for nervous habit channeling? Yoga or meditation is out since whenever I quiet my brain I start plotting stories and jump up to outline them before I forget. Ideas anyone?
Tricia
I dunno…braces would really hinder my ability to eat, well, everything messy I love to eat. Congrats on looking 12 again though!
Enna,
Yes, the eating thing is bothersome. I like to chew. The appeal of shakes and cheesecake have worn off and now I’m yearning for something substantial, like gummi bears.
Thanks for visiting. Come back again for updates on my mouth. In one way or another it’s always the center of my world.
How is it that *I* had my braces when I was about 25 and didn’t need to look any younger? It’s not fair! My biggest food deprivations were raw carrots and peanuts–I didn’t really mind the other things on the no-no list, but I really missed those. Hang in there; it’s worth it in the end. Just think of the classy smile you’ll have when the flashbulbs start popping at your author interviews.
Does this mean we’re having broth on Thursday?
Carol,
I didn’t usually eat many of the items on the no-no list, but now that they are a no-no I want them badly.
Linda,
You ruined my surprise.
Do you like chicken, beef, or vegetable broth?
LOL – i was going to suggest mints – but then I realized you can’t do that! Sorry, i suppose you have to stick with broth…
silly putty, as in squeezing it
that’s a great one, Cynthia!
Jennifer,
Broth, yuck.
Cynthia,
Silly Putty won’t work since I think it’s gross to squeeze.
Bubble wrap. It’s addicting.
Bubble Wrap! Yes. Yes. Thank you. I want to roll in it right now. I want wall-to-wall carpeting of it. I NEED IT!