T’was two weeks since my last post and all through my house, not a thought on a new post and feeling a louse. The stockings are hung on the chimney with care in hopes of a brilliance that I can at once share. When all of a sudden with my head such a clutter, I entered a contest with my heart all a flutter.
This, folks, is why I avoid poetry. I’m also not the best songwriter, either. If you aren’t aware already, Miss Snarks First Victim is holding a contest for best altered Christmas song. The judge is agent Lauren MacLeod and the winner will get a query critique by one and the same. Now, Ms MacLeod has already seen my query when my first page was one of the five or so she chose as winners of a contest back in July. The prize was she read the partial ms, a synopsis and a query letter. She ultimately passed on it, so I figured she might see my name again and let someone else win since we’ve already been acquainted and all.
Then I saw the other entries and I let that fear subside for I have nothing to worry about. I’m even a little ashamed that I thought I ever stood a chance. These are such awesome entries that I want to redact (or better yet, delete) mine. I’m embarrassed to have my two songs up against such talent. As each new song hits my email inbox I sink lower into the my-name-is-mud slump.
If you are reading this post prior to Wed. Dec. 9th 8am then you still have a chance to enter. If not, read the entries and pick your favorites. I haven’t read them all yet but there’s one by a Julie that I particularly love. Her entry is Dec. 7th at 5:01 pm to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman. I hope you can find it; it’s not to be missed.
Lest you can’t resist, I’ll save you from having to wade through the 60+ entries to locate my two dreadfuls. So for your entertainment (and amusement) pleasure, here they are.
My first song is completely fictional and was ghostwritten by my ten year-old daughter and revised by my-name-is-mud.
Leavin’ me Lost in Wonderland: to the tune of Walking in the Winter Wonderland
The phone rings
He ain’t listenin’
but I insist on
my submission tonight
But he took a flight
Leavin’ me lost in wonderland
Gone away is the book nook
Here to stay is the e-book
Read on the cheap
can’t make ends meet
if Kindle replaces book stands
In the morning I’ll call my agent
And he’ll pretend that he is out of town
I’ll leave three more messages
While his silence causes my head to pound
Oh, the pain
I can’t make
He tells enough lies
He wears a disguise
Leavin’ me lost in wonderland
The second post is completely non-fiction, ghostwritten by my ten year-old daughter about my-name-is-mud.
Up on the Laptop by the tune of Up on the Rooftop
Up on the laptop my fingers pause
Out jumps good ole Santa Clause
Down through my imagination he brings lots of joys
All for the fantasy my mind employs
Ho ho ho, who would show
Ho ho ho, who would know
Up on the laptop
Click click click
Down went my sanity
If you missed the contest, go ahead and sing for me here. You never know what talent scouts are out there looking and listening. This could be your big break.