I’ve discovered the fountain of youth. I’ve not taken ten years off my looks, nor twenty, but thirty years! Yes, that’s right, thirty years off my looks. How, you say? Simple. Get braces. My nine-year old is now outfitted with braces. Me as well. My teeth have moved since I had my braces removed as a teen. I wore my retainers up to the day my brother beat them to death with a rolled up newspaper. He thought they were pink spiders. He wasn’t wearing his glasses.
So anyhoo, I look twelve. I mean really. I think I’ll continue wearing them long after I need them. There’s a lot I could buy in the area of cosmetic surgery for the same price as braces, but none would have made me look as young as I do now. My husband says for the same price I could have gotten a boob job. He said then no one will look at my teeth. See what I have to live with.
The only drawback (besides not eating) is I can’t bite my fingernails. What will I do now for my nervous habit? I’ve bit them my whole life. I love biting them. I don’t smoke, or drink, or even play with my hair. I bite. The inability to sooth my nerves have caused great stress. Does anyone have any suggestions for nervous habit channeling? Yoga or meditation is out since whenever I quiet my brain I start plotting stories and jump up to outline them before I forget. Ideas anyone?