I’ve been a bit bogged down lately—not enough hours in the day. I have deadlines. I have company coming. School began—new paper piles. Two new kitties—one is sick and needs round-the-clock care. A ten-year-old’s birthday party to plan and prepare. The list goes on. Needless to say, I need a break from reality—I just need a break.
So I’ve invited a guest blogger: Ask Me. Ask Me is an advice expert in everything. I’ve always wanted to have an advice column, not that I have any great insight or anything—I fantasized, too, of having great insight—it’s just that I simply enjoy nosing myself in personal business and doling out advice.
I’ve also fantasized of being Judge Judy—maybe next week.
For the next week, I’ll be answering your questions on any subject in the galaxy—even if you want to know how big is a galaxy. I promise in return to reply in the upmost professional, non-judgmental (she’s not as pretentious as she looks), and unknowledgeable manner.
So go ahead, ask me why, ask me where, ask me who. Ask one question, ask one-hundred; I’ve got all the answers. I know everything about nothing. Here’s what not to ask: a math question. I go crosseyed at math questions.
I’m also a landfill of uses of many useless things. Ask me how best to use a treadmill. Hint: makes a handy coat rack.
Don’t throw away cat hair from its brush; make a new cat. Ever wonder why spiders never spin webs inside your car? They never took driver’s web. Sorry, that wasn’t useful.
I, I mean Ask Me (have I been saying “I” all this time?), is an expert on everything. So go ahead and humor me, I mean her, and ask away.
DISCLAIMER: Ask Me is a figment of the author’s imagination and in no way represents anything remotely professional. Ask Me is, in fact, a disgruntled male cat who would rather not speak to anyone, much less provide opinion, reflection, or “expert” advice. Just sayin’.