Since October, my vision has been failing drastically. Or maybe it just seems drastic. One day I can read with no assistance and the next, I need glasses. But cheap drugstore glasses aren’t helping with the computer screen. With or without them, my eyes strain on the computer. I’ve tried fiddling with the brightness and contrast and all that jazz, and nothing has worked. Even typing this, I cannot look at the screen.
I had hopes for the new “special” glasses the optometrist said would complete my life. And no, they don’t work, either. So I guess I’ll just rely on my keen sense of hearing to finish my book. (note: I have an affliction called CHS aka Can’t Hear Shit. So, uh, maybe not.)
Though, I once read that if one of your senses is impaired, another one will be stronger to compensate. It’s true. Because now I hear voices.
Whatever I’m doing, I hear myself narrating in my head.
As I’m driving, I hear, “…she slams on her brakes at the black animal in the road. She’s going to save it. Tears pool in her eyes at the heap as she tentatively approaches. “It’s dead!” she screams, then sees it’s just a tire …”
When scrounging for something to eat, I hear, “…she opens the pantry to emptiness. The fridge is bare. Listless, she trudges to bed where she vows to waste away to nothing. If only she weren’t blind, she’d have seen the pantry full, the fridge stocked…”
When I complain to the universe through my blog, I hear, “…they shake their heads, dab their eyes. Poor, poor deaf, dumb and blind Tricia (especially dumb). Maybe I should offer to finish her book for her. Maybe I’ll find her an agent while I’m at it. Must do a query letter …”
You might not be thinking you thought that, but you did. I heard it. Hey, wait I heard that too. Take it back.
“…she watches Spongebob marathons until the 3rd person narrative voices fade away, and soon after, she does as well …”
Tricia
You are so funny! 😀 This is just what I needed after hearing we might have…*eek!*…tornadoes soon!
Lois~Tornadoes, you say? Where might you live? All I have to worry about is “The Big One”, after which Calif falls into the radioactive ocean.
“… she bangs her head and wishes she’d joined the commune in Ecuador when she had the chance …”
Stop talking about me. 😉
tmso~Where? Who said that?
Most voices in my head enjoyed this until a smarter one of the lot spoke up and reminded the others they were being made fun of. 😉 As usual, you managed some giggles.
Travis~”Most” of your voices? Should I ask how many? If it’s a family thing, don’t tell me, I’m afraid to know.
When will you (or one of your voices) get your own blog so I can pester you? I pester everyone else. Why not you?
Stranger Than Fiction. Maybe you’re a character in someone else’s book. Hmmm…
Seriously, you’ll try anything to get out of finishing this book. It. Won’t. Work. *cracks whip*
J~Not convinced? Dangblast! I was hoping you’d fall for it. “…she goes back to the drawing board …”
Could I hire your voice to give my voice some lessons in narrative, please? Mine gets distracted muttering about young people and litter far too often. 🙂
Suzanne~”…she checks her calender…”
Her voice is free next Tuesday. Would you like a morning or afternoon appointment? Do you have medical insurance?
I can always count on you to make me laugh. Should I be laughing at your impending blindness? Oh well, I figure if you didn’t want me to be heartless you wouldn’t be so funny.
Candi~I am proof that God has a sense of humor.
All is not lost if you still have your sense of smell. People often remark how wful old books smell. Of course you won’t be able to read them, but at least you can give them a really good sniff.
Tooty~Yes. You might be onto something. A sort of Braille type sniffing thing. Aromatherapy writing/reading, per se. I’ll even throw in an emotional response smell: lavender if my book is suppose to be calming. Patchouli if it’s erotica. I could go on. “…she opens her spell book of what makes a scented bestseller …”
That strange word wot I wrote – WFUL – is incorrect. For some reason the letters ONDER failed to appear between the W and FUL. I blame WordPress for being too slow to keep up with my manic typing.
Tooty~I mentally filled in the missing text for you. However, I got it wrong. I thought you meant old books smell awful, with only a missing A. You must be manic to miss the whole “onder”. Clearly you need to get your hands on some rose scents.
LOL You know you’re a writer when you start narrating your own life. I’ve always said that and I totally believe it. 🙂 Funny.
Kasie~Today my voice affected a British accent. It was telling me what “she” should buy at Marshalls. Now if that don’t beat all.
Tricia, I’ve had such fun catching up with you! More publications… and serious ones. I’ll have to check those out. But good to know you still have your sense of humor. The hike–oh I was laughing out loud on that one. I used to hike 23 miles once a year and you know how much weight I lost that day–absolutely nothing.
Cynthia~I’m surprised I still have my humor intact after a week of Hell Hike. Most women who commented on that post suffered similar fates of zero, or in my case, negative results from a trek any man would have lost a hundred pounds on. Glad to know I’m not alone.