I figure you’ve thought I’ve fallen off the face of the earth by now, that I’ve given up blogging and didn’t tell anyone, that maybe something bad has happened to me considering my November post about my October. But none of the above is the reason for my absence. Silly you for letting your imagination run away with you. No. The real reason is I was abducted by aliens and I have been rejected returned.
Well, how else do you explain an unexplained absence? I wake up every day and say, “Where have I been and what have I been doing?”
There is evidence I’ve been gone. Just today I opened the fridge and noticed stuff. Bad stuff. I popped open lids to hairy, unidentifiable things. The only thing remotely familiar was the sweet potato dish leftover from Christmas. Or was it Thanksgiving? (At least my Christmas stuff is put away. Yes, I’m talking to you my next door neighbors who still have their Halloween décor in their yard. [maybe they were abducted by aliens, too]}.
My paper stacks are piled higher. My house is in disarray, as with my hair, my yard is unkempt, as with my hair, and my bills are unpaid. See?
What? I. Am. Not. Always. This. Way. Not even a little bit. Well, maybe a little bit. Maybe a lot. Ok, damnit, I’ve been slipping. Ok?
And I’m not taking it anymore. Today, I’ve turned a new leaf. No more Missy nice gal. I’m doing something different and it’s called Three Damn Things. But not just any things. These are things things. Things that will change my life and make me a better person. But because I’m still recovering from scary refrigerator *things (*things that are bad and unmentionable and not to be confused with Three Damn Things), I will have to continue this post tomorrow. Let’s just hope aliens don’t abduct me before you learn important life lessons.
Until then …
Tricia
You are too funny. Can’t wait to find out what those *things* are.
I actually like investigating the furry things in other people’s refrigerators, marveling at what might those artifacts once have been.
Maybe that would make me a good alien abductee candidate?
Oh, and I’m sure you weren’t rejected. They just realized they couldn’t handle you (with all that frizzy hair). :D
Nila, I had suspected it was my hair all along.
Really hope those aliens leave you alone as looking forward to your next installment!
Isla, I’m worried I’ve put a target on my back making such a statement. But for the record (are you listening, aliens?), I’ve written it down on paper. Ha.
Those damn paper stacks…they’re everywhere.
They breed, Cynthia.